A few weeks ago, the TODAY show did a week-long series called #loveyourselfie. The promos…left me skeptical–do we really need more selfies floating around social media? When I watched, the series focused on being comfortable in ones own skin, an important, but often discussed, topic. (See some articles and clips here.)
The one installment I was able to watch one morning before work left me thinking, though. In the spot I saw, the anchors shared something they struggled with when they were growing up. Weight. Height. Hair. Skin. Teeth. Common, easy-to-relate-to topics.
I watched them, and I heard my friends in their comments. And I thought of my friends who have made comments about themselves that leave me shaking my head, thinking, “Why can’t you see that people don’t notice that?” Those who matter don’t notice if your hair doesn’t look like you thought it would. They don’t notice the wrinkle in your shirt. The crooked tooth. Extra weight.
They see you. You are beautiful.
I can honestly say that I don’t have a single friend that I can’t see beauty within. They’ll tell you you aren’t beautiful. They’ll fuss and protest. But I look at them and see a beautiful smile. Sparkling eyes. Luxurious hair. They’re gorgeous! All of them! (Guys, you’re beautiful too.) I am convinced that they’re all lovely.
But I look in the mirror in the morning, and I see faults.
A couple months ago, a customer smiled at me and said, “You should be a hand model!” And I blushed and laughed and thanked her. I’d never thought my hands were pretty. I always thought my fingers were stumpy, and that day, my nail polish was chipped. But I was touched by the compliment.
It also made me think. It’s easy to compliment someone’s top, nail polish, necklace. Any compliment is going to bring a smile to someone’s face, but can my words make a difference if I focused in on people, not just their clothes?
Is it stronger when I say, “You have a beautiful smile,” rather than, “I love your bracelet!”
Will a compliment mean more when I tell a friend, “I appreciate how thoughtful you have been,” rather than, “Cute dress!”
There’s nothing wrong with appreciating a fun sweater or bright nails, but the comments I remember are the ones that are about me, not my clothes.
So I’m making a conscious effort to focus on the beautiful in those around me and tell them so.
Because y’all are beautiful. Seriously.
In the comments, share a compliment you never forgot! And join with me in an effort to tell someone they’re beautiful (and be specific!).